018 ♋ Voice => Video ♋ 4TH WALL

[usedshooshpap]

Remember how I've been saying lately that I don't feel fucking respected as an individual that is not human? Oh right, that's because my perspective, culture, and essence have been fucking scrutinized like a scienterrorist examining the brand new fucking microbe on a recently discovered planet out in the far reaches of the known universe. Let this be a lesson for all of you that I'm not human and shouldn't be expected to act like one!

[ he flips on the video feed now!  Karkat is now in all of his troll glory and is about to make a few points before running off into the sunset and having a time of it. of course behind him is his team of pokebeasts: a shiny Haxorus, Crobat, Growlithe, Sneasel, Espeon, and Luxray. ]

In no way do I even resemble one. First, let us observe the fact that I have horns. Do humans have these? Why no! They do fucking not. What about fangs? Claws. See these features of mine that humans distinctly lack? Do I LOOK built to scream about love, peace, and the American way? Fuck you sideways, I don't! I am a lean, mean culling machine and you would all fucking do well to remember that.

Now I'm throwing out my middle prongs to you all in a traditional salute while I fuck off to enjoy my REAL body. I might be dreaming, but look at all the shiny fucks that I give.

Shit, I forgot about screwing over my sleep schedule...

Comments

ACTION FOR VANITAS - before the post

[usedshooshpap]

[ augh. he does not want to get up. but Karkat can only sleep so much before getting restless. grumbling, he trudges over to Vani's room. not like the guy sleeps much anyway, right? might as well bother the other while he can. ]

Hey shitsack... You awake?

Re: ACTION FOR VANITAS - before the post

[shadowdive]

Yeah. Don't know if you want to come in though, I've got a bit of a.. problem going on.

[Crossing his arms and sitting on the bed, he's presently trying to ignore the pile of these and these. The floods are far more interested in taking up all the space on the floor, where the birds are perching on everything but Vanitas himself.]

[papshooshing]

[ rolls his eyes and goes to open the door. ]

What? Having a hard time polishing your bulge or -

[ then his eyes land on THOSE THINGS. ]

What the fuck are those?

[breatheinthefog]

Why does it matter, anyway?

[papshooshing]

Because I am fucking sick and tired of being scolded for being anything less than who and what I am, that's why it matters.

[breatheinthefog]

Some people are human, most people aren't. That's just how it is.

[Video]

[usedquack]

[Yeah Duck's just going to stare at you with wide eyes. She's never heard so much profanity before.]

... what's a scienterrorist?

[Video]

[papshooshing]

A virtually useless profession.

[Video]

[usedquack]

So what do they do?

video; I HOPE THIS IS OKAY. . .?!

[mightydragon]

And what would you know about this American way?

video; YES. COME AT ME, BRO

[papshooshing]

All I know is that it involves bright lights in the sky, eating hotdogs until your guts erupt from the putrid mix you're sloshing in your stomach, and singing while tone deaf.

[ but then? he does a double take. ]

Terezi?

video; I APOLOGISE BEFOREHAND FOR RUSTINESS. ♥

[mightydragon]

[ she moves in closer, but she doesn't have a good sense of where the device is so it captures only about a quarter of her face. ]

Surprise, surprise! Your eyes still work!

It sure smellllls like you've been having fun over here.

[video?]

[thekidsare0kay]

What do you mean, 'real body'?

[video!]

[papshooshing]

You would know! They normally turn every nookbiter here into a human.

[video!]

[thekidsare0kay]

Ew... Why would I know that?

[video -- text]

[pinnedbangs]

[Just. Gonna stare. Except, he's really not staring he's just. Yeah, he's staring. But it doesn't matter because Karkat totally can't see him, right? Right.]

ok we get youre not human so what the hell are you?

video

[papshooshing]

A troll. Do I need to repeat it and write it several times for it to sink into your think pan?

Video~

[wholesales]

[Hey there, trollboy, on your feed is a short dwarf girl with pointy ears, hefting a massive brown pack on her back, complete with giant red battleaxe strapped to it. One hand's tossing and catching a Pokeball up and down in it.

She gives an enthusiastic thumbs up!]

Since when do humans ever care about anything not concerning them?

Video~

[papshooshing]

Since never.

[Video]

[used_realtears]

[Nobita's current background? Sky.]

Wow...you're like a tiny oni!

[Video]

[papshooshing]

The fuck is an oni? AND I'M NOT TINY!

[tentacletrainer]

[[Karkat, hope you don't mind a headband wearing tangela coming over and just. Sitting on your foot. Guile isn't far behind, all too happy to give his leg a friendly headbutt in greeting.]]

[papshooshing]

[ give him a moment to contemplate the Tangela. what does the thing even think it's -
oops! almost falls over from SOMETHING hitting the back of his leg. but of course when Karkat turns what he can to yell, he recognizes THAT beast at least. ]

...Lalonde.

[hethoughtiwastricky]

What's a scienterrorist?

{Hey there, Karkat. Don't mind Joan here as she floats above you and just eavesdrops like it's no big deal. Because it ain't no big deal! The shiny Buneary in her hood looks so curious about this horned, grey person. Are you another Pokemon mister?}

[papshooshing]

[ ................................................................................

does he dare look up? DOES HE EVEN LOOK UP? ]

This place is fucking screwing with me today.