usedshooshpap | 018 ♋ Voice => Video ♋ 4TH WALL

Remember how I've been saying lately that I don't feel fucking respected as an individual that is not human? Oh right, that's because my perspective, culture, and essence have been fucking scrutinized like a scienterrorist examining the brand new fucking microbe on a recently discovered planet out in the far reaches of the known universe. Let this be a lesson for all of you that I'm not human and shouldn't be expected to act like one!

[ he flips on the video feed now! Karkat is now in all of his troll glory and is about to make a few points before running off into the sunset and having a time of it. of course behind him is his team of pokebeasts: a shiny Haxorus, Crobat, Growlithe, Sneasel, Espeon, and Luxray. ]

In no way do I even resemble one. First, let us observe the fact that I have horns. Do humans have these? Why no! They do fucking not. What about fangs? Claws. See these features of mine that humans distinctly lack? Do I LOOK built to scream about love, peace, and the American way? Fuck you sideways, I don't! I am a lean, mean culling machine and you would all fucking do well to remember that.

Now I'm throwing out my middle prongs to you all in a traditional salute while I fuck off to enjoy my REAL body. I might be dreaming, but look at all the shiny fucks that I give.

Shit, I forgot about screwing over my sleep schedule...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ she moves in closer, but she doesn't have a good sense of where the device is so it captures only about a quarter of her face. ]

Surprise, surprise! Your eyes still work!

It sure smellllls like you've been having fun over here.

...Terezi. I'm to your fucking right about two degrees.

You're also probably just smelling Alex. Goddamn barkbeast is pleased to meet anyone.

[ tilting the device juuuuuust a bit, and viola! here's terezi. ]

Can you see me noooooow? [ laugh laugh laugh! ] Because I can't see you. You remember, right?

I'm bliiind!

Barkbeast? You got a barkbeast?

[ pause. ]

What kind of crappy name is "Alex"? He deserves a traditional barkbeast name! How else will he strike fear into the hearts of his enemies?

That gag is so old that it's beginning to get that nasty crust on it.

[ he tilts his camera towards Alex, the Growlithe. named for the main protagonist in his romcoms. ....From Hitch. ]

It's not crappy, fuck you. He will strike fear into their hearts by breathing fire in the oppositions' faces.

...And I have a dragon so whatever.

Craaaaaaaapppyy. God, Karkat. I'd think that you could come up with some better than that.

At this rate, you'll only manage to slightly not get laughed right out of the arena. [ ooo! there's a shift in colour here.

let's investigate. with tongue. ]

Taste likes peaches and cream. [ >:9 ] What is that thing?

[ did you say dragon? ]

Dragon?

Kaaaaaarkat.

What kind of troll teases a girl with talks of dragons? Bring him to me at once!

First, Alex is a Growlithe. He is a barkbeast of the fire variety and has been with me for at least seven perigees now.

Second, I have no idea where you are in Johto. Will doesn't HAVE wings, despite being a dragon.

I didn't know barkbeasts came in fire flavour! Hehehehe!

[ then a twist of her lips. ]

Isn't that the first question you should ask? Or are you just going to leave a poor defenceless blind girl out in some strange place all alone?

You're a moooonster!

[ give him a moment to rub at his temples. ]

Defenseless my ass. Don't go into any tall grass and you'll be fine.

But throw the viewport around a bit so I can figure out where you are.

[ there's a moment of laughter before she flips her arm outward, pointer finger making a circle in the air. ]

You're the cutest. ♥

Sooooo crabbby!

Can't you just picture it! Some big handsome stranger showing up with a box of chalk and promises of a future of adventure and culling the wicked, and—swoooooon—how's a troll to resist?

[ but she does as he says and brings the video feed over her surroundings before back to her face. ]

[ squinting. ]

Why don't YOU have a partner?

I didn't bring him with! He was in the middle of something fishy with the Rose-Human. [ >:/ ] Fishy, fishy, fishy!

... I meant your pokebeast partner.

018 ♋ Voice => Video ♋ 4TH WALL

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