018 ♋ Voice => Video ♋ 4TH WALL

[usedshooshpap]

Remember how I've been saying lately that I don't feel fucking respected as an individual that is not human? Oh right, that's because my perspective, culture, and essence have been fucking scrutinized like a scienterrorist examining the brand new fucking microbe on a recently discovered planet out in the far reaches of the known universe. Let this be a lesson for all of you that I'm not human and shouldn't be expected to act like one!

[ he flips on the video feed now!  Karkat is now in all of his troll glory and is about to make a few points before running off into the sunset and having a time of it. of course behind him is his team of pokebeasts: a shiny Haxorus, Crobat, Growlithe, Sneasel, Espeon, and Luxray. ]

In no way do I even resemble one. First, let us observe the fact that I have horns. Do humans have these? Why no! They do fucking not. What about fangs? Claws. See these features of mine that humans distinctly lack? Do I LOOK built to scream about love, peace, and the American way? Fuck you sideways, I don't! I am a lean, mean culling machine and you would all fucking do well to remember that.

Now I'm throwing out my middle prongs to you all in a traditional salute while I fuck off to enjoy my REAL body. I might be dreaming, but look at all the shiny fucks that I give.

Shit, I forgot about screwing over my sleep schedule...

Comments

[papshooshing]

[ give him a moment to contemplate the Tangela. what does the thing even think it's -
oops! almost falls over from SOMETHING hitting the back of his leg. but of course when Karkat turns what he can to yell, he recognizes THAT beast at least. ]

...Lalonde.

[breedslilacs]

Tang?

[[Yes, Karkat? Is there a problem? The little mass of vines looks up at him as the Espeon sits down beside her. Thankfully not on his other foot.]]

[papshooshing]

[ squints. SO MUCH SQUINTING. ]

Where is she if you [ pointing to the Espeon. ] are here?

[breedslilacs]

[[The two Pokemon look at each other a moment before the Espeon inclines her head, nudging the Tangela a little.

"She's here, Karkat." Hooray for telepathy? Meanwhile there's just a small, huffy "tang" from Rose.]]

[papshooshing]

[ staring. more staring. Rose is the pokebeast. Rose is the pokebeast. ]

What the fuck did I put in my coffee this morning.

[breedslilacs]

Tangela tang tangla? [[Yeah she's going to go ahead and talk like you understand her. Is it really that weird, she asks.

Guile, on the other hand, is at least easier to understand. "Likely nothing out of the usual. Every once in a while extraordinary things happen here, so it's no small wonder that transforming into a Pokemon is possible."]]

[papshooshing]

But a Tangela? Isn't that taking your tentacle fetish a little too far?

[breedslilacs]

Tangela? Tang gelala tangela?

[[Wow fetish? Fetish is kind of a harsh way of putting it, Karkat!

"...she insists that it's not a fetish, and explains she didn't have a choice."]]

[papshooshing]

[ this look. THIS LOOK SO MUCH. ]

[breedslilacs]

[[And this look right back at you.

Not that...you can really tell what this look is supposed to be. But those are some intensely staring eyes!]]

Tang.

[papshooshing]

Don't give me that look. You're in fucking denial and you know it.

[breedslilacs]

[[Alright, what if she buries against your leg to avoid the subject? She mumbles something, the Espeon perking her ears and then loosely translating it.

"She says it must be nice being a troll again."]]

[papshooshing]

[ she can do that. it will only prove him right though. Karkat will give said Espeon some ear scritches. ]

Yeah, but now I'm fucking dreading the moment where I turn back.

[breedslilacs]

Tangela?

[[That was a "why's that" but Guile is a little bit preoccupied with ear scritches to translate, just chirping happily under his hand.]]

[papshooshing]

Whatever you said, Rose, it didn't get translated.

[breedslilacs]

[[Glancing at the happy Espeon, she rolls her eyes and sighs, bumping the purple Pokemon. Guile stops, flicking her tail and looking between Karkat and her trainer and as the Tangela restates her question, she translates with an added apology.]]