usedshooshpap | 019 ♋ Voice

019 ♋ Voice

Vanitas, would you fucking like to stop your constant need to squirm around?

Shut up, I need a minute to prepare

[ snort. ] If you tense up, you'll only make this fucking worse for yourself.

[ so, so dry. ] Oh, ha ha, you say that like it's not going to hurt. Give me something to bite. [ a beat. ] Your arm is preferred.

It will only hurt like the human conception of Hell for a few seconds, you big wiggler. If you need something to bite, then use your Vanillish. C'mon, Will. Get over here.

[ there's the thudding of footsteps followed by a low 'Axorrrr' from Will, Karkat's Haxorus. ]

I'm not biting that, it tastes like crap! And it's going to hurt long after you shove it back into place, idiot! Get me something to bite or I'm calling this off.

[ another groan. ] Oh my god. Fine! [ the sound that hits the Gear is Karkat digging through his bag. ] Take my extra shirt, shit for brains.

[ there's a grunt and Karkat starts again: ] On the count of three. One... Two - [ insert pop sound and a roar. ] Three.

FFUCK! [ that's a scream, not a yell. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Stop shouldering it all when you didn't know any of that would happen. No, I don't know anything about this game, but I do know an idiot when I see one!

[Vanitas has to pause, if only because tears. He doesn't.. do well with tears, he really doesn't. Gripping the shirt tighter in his hand, he knocks his head forward and cracks it against Karkat's before shoving him back onto the bed to sit.]

An idiot who takes anything he can get his hands on to put the blame on himself, because he hates himself. Feels like he doesn't deserve anything, that he should be punished because of all these things that are out of his control. Were you expecting either of those people to start murdering? No.

[He may be assuming parts, but he understands. Vanitas is almost outright disgusted by how much he understands, but not because of the tears, the emotions making the room thick with tension. Stepping forward and leaning, reaching out to catch Karkat by his shirt again, Vanitas yanks him forward while crouching down so they're at eye level.]

Now. You are going to knock this shit off. [Yanking a little harder to force him closer, Vani tips his head aside and lets the other guys head fall on his shoulder, growling a bit quieter.] And you're going to finish your crying here, and get it in your thick skull that no one is blaming you. [Lifting his arm finally away from the grip he's had on Karkat's shirt, he thunks it a little roughly across his back.]

[ Karkat opens his mouth to shout back, to object. because he's the leader and a leader takes responsibility for actions taken, good or bad. because everyone was his and he had failed them in the worst ways imaginable. because IT IS HIS FAULT, it has to be. but then Vanitas starts talking about blaming himself because of all that hate. undeserving.... those things are true and Karkat knows it. punishment? he's thought that before, when arriving on Pulse and Haze. that thought about being punished for existing could extend to this as well.

no, he hadn't been aware that Eridan would strike like that. Eridan had been a douche and just lonely, but never really had the gumption of killing anyone. especially not Feferi. Karkat hiccups a bit, trying to control the hot wet streaks down his face. he gives no fight. none. his forehead just leans against Vanitas' shoulder - the one that isn't broken.

Karkat just feels drained. no room left in him to argue and he hates himself for that too. because he should. he shouldn't be so weak in front of another living creature. once again Karkat let his emotions get the better of him and he had behaved like the flaming idiot that he has always been. Fuck up indeed. he will never stop believing that. ]

Wrong. I knew about Gamzee. Knew that if he went shithive maggots that he'd doom us all. [ sniifffff. ] Was told it and didn't listen. Didn't go out to get him when I felt like I should have because I was so fucking stubborn about leaving the lab. Too obsessed with acting like some self righteous leader that I never really was.

It was an "if" still at that point. You trusted him not to.

[Vanitas is still really not sure what to do with the tears, but he takes a guess and squeezes his arm a bit tighter; the hug is a bit uncomfortably tight, plus his other arm is in the way, but it's an attempt.]

Because it was fucking ridiculous to consider. The guy couldn't even look up at the sky without falling over ungracefully.

[ actually it does help. it helps out soooo much, even if Karkat's shoulders are still quivering a bit. ]

Fuck, I miss him a lot.

Then do you see how stupid it is to blame yourself for that?

[Letting out a sigh, it seems the worst is over.]

You miss a lot of things, don't you.

No, it's not stupid. Other shit might be partially dismissed, but not this. I'm responsible for that adorable ball of rage and slaughter filled troll. We're the palerom that you fucking see in the movies or read about in ancient folklore. Written in the goddamn stars type of thing.

And I fucking ignored that.

[ but he does miss a lot of things. being a troll. having Gamzee around... Terezi. Sollux's sight. ]

Quit blaming yourself. [The hug is mildly interrupted by a sharp swat on the back.] Would he blame you?

Ow! Fuck! Quit hitting me!

[ he pulls away from Vanitas scowling. ]

So what if he wouldn't blame me? He fucking adores me so of course he wouldn't.

Then that's why you should stop blaming yourself.

[Vanitas lets him pull back with a bit of hesitation, but he retracts his arm after a moment and snuffs.] He wouldn't blame you, so neither should you.

[ he's wiping his face on that shirt that Vanitas had taken to biting earlier. now it's his face that is pink and puffy.

and that bruise HAD been fading. now there's just an angry red mark covering it up. ]

You're all seriously lacking some much needed functions of your think pan.

[Cracking half a smile, Vanitas reached for a moment to catch his chin and tip his head to get a better look at the mark he went and left. Letting go and waving his Vanillish over, he has the pokemon make a bit of ice in his hand to reach and press it against Karkat's red cheek.]

So you say.

[ and Karkat just sits there, taking it. ]

So I fucking know.

I don't care what you insist on "knowing". [Using the ice to give his cheek a very light smack, Vanitas shakes his head.]

Don't hate yourself so much. I like you, and I don't like very many people. Consider it a plus.

[ glares and snaps at with his jaws. a troll gesture, but an ineffective one as a human. ]

Tch. That much was obvious, Vani.

And it obviously needed to be said. [The snap only makes him snort and chuckle, giving another light smack with the ice.]

You're hitting me again.

Punishment for crying on me. I already told you I don't deal with tears. [He doesn't hit again though, just pushing the ice more firmly against his face.]

Oh please. As if you don't cry.

I don't unless my shoulder is being snapped. [Physical pain is different from emotional pain though.]

That just means you're being a wuss.

How is that being a wuss? [Narrowing his eyes about that.]

Physical pain is a part of every day life, man.

Not to that extent. [The ice is starting to melt between fingers and cheek.]

Yeah it is. Or it was. I had to fight my Lusus every night.

Whatever. [When his fingers hit his cheek, it's more of a pat this time. Drawing his hand away though, Vanitas finally moves to stand, stretching his legs.]