usedshooshpap | 025 ♋ Video

025 ♋ Video

Once some of you fresh meat are finished freaking the fuck out and actually work towards getting settled into your environments...

Here is a golden opportunity, so open your auricular sponge clots and listen up. I have some eggs that I need to get rid of. Twenty fucking seven eggs, in fact. There's a variety and what doesn't get taken by some happy new partner slash owner gets set free into the wilds to defend itself.

[ not really. he'll ship the remaining eggs to the day care or something. there's still plenty there to snatch up! ]

So don't let them get eaten by wild Sneasels! Just fucking take them! One of the Axew eggs is for the oddly named human Hiccup.

Otherwise? I've got nothing. I do want to ask if anyone has any leads on what the fuck happened the last week, but I'm doubtful that anyone really knows who was behind that shit.

I wonder how long these effects are going to stick around.

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[Here, have an Astrid who might have noticed this because of mention of Hiccup but is now curious about the topic at hand.]

...Eggs? So...pokemon eggs? Do you eat them?

[What? That's not weird!]

You could try, but I wouldn't recommend it. You'll get the Social Justice Police of Johto riding your ass.

[And a frown. She doesn't even know what Police are, frankly.]

Who? Why would they care?

Because they think that the beasts are just like us and should be treated as such.

Uh...[Well, she wouldn't eat hers but that's not...the same thing.]

Right, so...anyway. If people aren't eating them, what are they doing with them? Hatching them?

Yeah, people hatch them. A lot of mine came from eggs that were given away.

Oh...so what are they? In the eggs, I mean. Do all pokemon breed with eggs?

[She knows of maybe five kinds of pokemon but she's not gonna say that.]

Well I have some Shinx eggs here, which are an electric type. Woobat is obviously a bat that is psychic and flying. Murkrow are crow-like beasts. Dark-flying type.

The last ones I have left are from our Scolipedes. Giant fucking insects that you can ride like a horse.

[She has...no idea about any of those, though she wrinkles her nose at the thought of a giant insect. And she's mostly ignoring the constant swearing.]

And you're just giving them away?

Why not? We can't hatch them all.

I'd ask if I can have one, but I've barely even left New Bark Town, so I wouldn't know how to get one.

I'd obviously send it to you via Crobat Courier.

Crowbat what?

[Mail wasn't a thing where she comes from!]

In other words, I'd send out one of my giant bats to deliver the egg.

...Oh. Okay. That'd actually be pretty great of you. I just have my 'starter.'

Alex is one of the best that I have. I got him because someone was handing out eggs just like this. So I figure why the fuck not.

Just don't be scared of a giant motherfucking bat.

At home I ride on a giant blue dragon. I doubt a bat can be scarier than her.

[She smiles faintly.]

Thanks, though. So, uh...what are you sending? Please don't say a giant bug.

Yeah... Probably not.

I'm thinking Shinx is what I'll end up giving you. They're pretty fast and strong when full grown. And blue.

Thing is, you've got to work at training it. Since you've obviously had experience with vicious beasts, I don't think that will be an issue.

I think I'm getting the hang of that training thing, really. I've got him behaving...well. Sometimes. [She turns her phone towards her Axew, who is flopped out asleep at her feet.] Unless he gets distracted by something shiny.

Blue works for me. Beggers can't be choosers, anyway, right?

Except for bugs.

Axew are kind of awkward with those tusks. Will shredded a lot of shit.

What's your problem with bugs?

He seems to like rubbing them against trees. I'm not sure if he's supposed to do that or not...[She shrugs. She's a trial and error parent, apparently.]

...Well, nothing, just. I'd rather not have a giant one?

It's better than using your leg.

I guess, but walking isn't so bad. I'd rather have a dragon. I guess that's probably not going to happen now, though.

[She sighs.]

Let me see one? If you have one? Maybe they aren't so bad.

[Not that she'll suddenly want one, of course.]

There are dragons. Axew there will evolve into Haxorus. Dragonite and Salamance have wings and are rideable.

If you want to see Will, I'd have to go outside.

I've never heard of either of those. [She finally admits.] Still figuring all this out.

[She shifts faintly.]

Well, if you don't want to...[The implication in her voice is that you probably should, Karkat.]

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