usedshooshpap | 024 ♋ Voice

024 ♋ Voice

I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS, VANITAS! THAT WAS A DIRTY ROTTEN FUCKING TRICK AND YOU BETTER BE READY TO PAY SOME FORM OF RESTITUTION FOR YOUR CRIMES! AND DON'T THINK THAT FOR A MINUTE YOU'RE GETTING OFF EITHER, SOLLUX MOTHERFUCKING CAPTOR! YOU ARE ALSO BEING HELD RESPONSIBLE!

[ then he coughs from the shouting and groans. ]

As if this week couldn't even get remotely worse at this point. You know... Every time I think 'hey, looks like life is finally giving me a decent deal,' I get fucked over in some way. Just throw me down on a table, Life. Have it your way because every turn I make, that's just what you're going to do anyway!

[ huff puff huff puff ]

Is it so fucking wrong to ask for one thing to go right? Just one?

[ Private to Rose ]

You around?

[ /private ]

[ Private to Eridan ]

You are on my shit list. What the fuck were you thinking, telling Captor all that shit!?

[ /private ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You needed it. [The glare just makes him glare back, but it was for all of a few moments before he gets it; the Princess came back and didn't remember. He saw that, and didn't say anything to him, but Karkat.. well. Knows him, obviously, from his world, so of course he would say something.

Relaxing and sighing quietly, Vanitas stepped in and shut the door behind him to approach and lean, giving support through the simple contact of resting his head against Karkat's.]

[ there's a bit of a ruffle before Karkat gives a little shove. he really needs time to collect his thoughts about the matter. there are still lingering feelings, yes, but Karkat knows that there's no way for that relationship to be rebuilt. it wouldn't be fair to the Eridan that had been here before. it's not like Karkat is now mourning the loss, but it is... difficult to adjust to.

the ruffle is really to assure Vanitas that Karkat isn't rejecting his company or support. more like he just needs to be serious for a moment before anything else. ]

You can't do that again. Not when it looks like we have trolls showing up. While I'm not their fucking leader anymore in my time line, they still need me depending on when they come from.

Go look, Vanitas. Go look and see what kind of shit gets thrown around on those posts when I'm not around to stop it and explain first.

[It doesn't stop the frown Vanitas gets when he's shoved after that ruffle, but he doesn't lean again. Standing, he grunts out a sigh and stuffs his hands into his pockets, shrugging a little and looking away.

No, he doesn't care enough about the others, but he at least knows he can't say that. It would just irritate Karkat at this point. Mumbling, he manages to say a few words after some minutes of silence.]

I still stand by that you needed the sleep. [He doesn't regret using his Pokemon to do it either. But he doesn't feel good that Karkat is annoyed, or pissed with people.]

I'll get plenty of fucking sleep when I'm dead.

I need to handle all of this first.

You're not dying anytime soon, idiot. [It prompts a scowl out of him, but since no comfort is needed and Vanitas doesn't know anything about what Karkat has to play damage control for, he can't help. This feeling of.. of helplessness?

Jerking a bit on realizing that's exactly what the feeling is, he turns instantly and starts for the door. He can't handle this just yet, let alone the other emotions boiling under the worry.]

[ his own head jerks up. is he... is he scaring Vanitas off? is that what's happening here? because that's kind of the impression he's getting.

great. another thing to chalk up to the ever growing wall of failures.

one moment. Karkat will just curl in on himself more. fuck this shit, man. ]

[It's with his hand on the doorknob that he forces himself to stop. Instead of running, he slams his hand on the door to calm himself down, to stay. It takes a few minutes and a few more punches to the door before Vanitas can take in a big breath and exhale.

Turning and stepping back, he keeps his expression blank and calm when he sits and leans on Karkat again, grunting.] I don't like that I can't help you.

[ Karkat watches with his mouth open for those few minutes. the hell is Vanitas doing....

then the other is leaning on him again and he understands. frustration. it's hard to remember that Vanitas is still pretty young. a lot of the developments for him as a person have happened in the years spent here. adjusting... ]

Shit head.

[ he rolls his eyes. can't very well have a freak out of his own when the other is so close to having one too. ]

Eridan and Sollux are disasters waiting to fucking happen. Believe me. It already did. Eridan was the one that killed Feferi, blew a hole through Kanaya, and blinded Sollux.

Only Captor is from slightly before that happens. Eridan, before I can explain shit, told Captor all of this basically. Feferi is. Was. I don't know... Feferi and Sollux were in a quadrant with each other.

[He's not close to having a freak out, no, not at all. He just can't deal with these emotions very well ~~CAN'T HOLD THESE FEELS~~. Digging his chin a little purposely into Karkat's shoulder, Vanitas huffs quietly, listening. He doesn't know who Feferi is, but he understands quadrants at least enough to get the idea.]

So essentially, he's an asshole and doesn't use his brain. [He gathered that he was an egotistical brat from the last time he was here, but 'asshole' is fitting far better the more he hears.]

An arrogant asshole that feels entitled and justified in everything that he does.

Why were you with him? [Shifting his head a little, he just watched, curious. Princess doesn't seem worth any of the work and attention Karkat put towards him before he left.]

[ Karkat sort of shrugs Vanitas off to fix him with a look. really? you're going to ask that.

with a sigh and an eyeroll, Karkat pauses to try to find words. ]

We weren't really all that fucking different, I guess. Yeah, he's an arrogant findouche. But when he was here last, he was at least willing to try to be otherwise. Not always successful, but eh...

Eridan's not as secure as he fucking acts. He tries way too goddamn hard for affection. That's really all he wants: someone to give him the time of day. His moirail left him at a really shitty time... We wouldn't go visit him when we probably should have.

That and he was actually a good quadrantmate.

Trying too hard is an understatement. [From Vani's point of view, the behavior was driving people away. Getting that look though makes him frown again and shift back, pulling away from the leaning then. Looking away, he just.. quietly thought.]

I did the same damn thing with Terezi. Seriously. I finally figured out that I wanted her in all of my fucking quadrants. That's why I couldn't settle on one type of fucking flirting. In the end, that's probably why she ended up lavishing her slimy affection on someone else...

But that's the difference, I guess. He was so fucking desperate that he would take anyone in any quadrant and I'm so desperate to have someone I want in all of them. Hog 'em to my fucking self like some grub.

All because of shitty insecurities.

It's not desperate to want someone all to yourself. [He doesn't know this Terezi either, but the explanation made enough sense that he could follow why they got together. Still thinking though, Vanitas winds up quietly frowning.]

It may not be something that was a regular thing in your world, society, but from the worlds I've been in, it's just called "love". Not pity or hate.

But I'm not human! I'm not from these other societies. I shouldn't be geared like that...

But you are, apparently. It's called being ahead of your time.

Or just a freak.

You're not a freak. [It feels like he's said this before, but he can't quite place where or when. Either way, it prompts the instant reaction of punching him in the shoulder, scowling.]

[ it DOES feel like they've had that part of the conversation before and it makes Karkat scowl.

and hold his arm in a huff. ]

Getting away from my apparent failures of my relationships... Can we go back to talking about my failures as a leader? So you can adequately understand that these trolls can't be left to their own vices?

No. [Reaching out and curling one arm around his shoulders, Vantias yanks Karkat back into a sort of leaning hug then, resting his head on top of his with that scowl remaining.]

You aren't a freak, you aren't a failure, so shut up and step forward from where you are now. Looking into your past all the time will never let you forgive yourself. I understand enough to know that Sollux was told things he really shouldn't have heard, but it's too late to change it now.

I don't regret making you sleep, but I am sorry he had to hear all that shit because you were asleep and couldn't shut the princess up. That's his own fault for talking though.

[ cue the little flail. but it doesn't do any good to fight it. so he doesn't. Karkat huffs and bristles. ]

Even though you say that... I did fail them. This isn't me looking to the fucking past so much as being reminded of it. Can't a guy learn from his goddamn mistakes and try to fix them if given the chance?

Nepeta. Equius. Feferi. Eridan. Vriska. Tavros. They're all fucking dead, man. Sollux is some shitty half dead ghost in my time and I don't even get to fucking see him now. The asshole ran off with Aradia first chance he had. Is it so wrong to not want shit constantly hitting the whirling device?

It's not wrong to want that, or to want to fix the mistakes. [Quit bristling; the other arm is coming around and it's a tighter hug now.] But do you really have to take all the responsibility onto yourself?

[ just... sags. and sighs. ]

If I don't... Who will?

[Lowering his eyes a bit, he stayed quiet for a few minutes, simply holding him like that.] I don't want you wearing yourself out trying to fix things. [Exhaling, Vani shifted his head so his chin was resting on Karkat's shoulder then, arms relaxing but not letting go.]