usedshooshpap | 002 ♋ Text

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002 ♋ Text

WHAT THE ACTUAL TAINTCHAFING FUCK IS WITH ALL OF THESE FLAPBEASTS WITH FANGS.
ZUBAT, WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT THEY'RE CALLED AT THIS GODDAMN POINT.
THEY'RE FUCKING EVERYWHERE.
I CAN'T WALK TWO FEET TO GET SOME LATE NIGHT TRAINING IN WITHOUT RUNNING INTO THE GRUBFUCKERS.
IT'S LIKE OK, THANKS YOU LITTLE BULGEBITERS, BUT I ALREADY CAUGHT ONE OF YOU LITTLE SHIT STAINS
NOW IT'S TIME TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GO EAT A CATERPIE OR WHATEVER THOSE LITTLE GRUB THINGS ARE CALLED.
ACTUALLY, IT PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE OH YEAH, I DID CATCH ONE
BUT JOSIE HAS TO BE THE TINIEST LITTLE FUCKING ZUBAT OUT OF ALL OF THEM.
HER FANGS ARE SHIT, MAN.
TINIEST LITTLE FUCKERS I HAVE YET TO LAY MY EYES ON AND HER ONLY ATTACK IS A SHITTY MOVE THAT CAN'T DO MUCH OF ANYTHING.
I SWEAR THAT I GOT FUCKING JIPP
OH SHIT.
HOLD ONTO THAT THOUGHT
I FUCKING TURN MY BACK FOR A MOMENT AND THAT GODDAMN EGG IS HATCHING.
WHATEVER, I'M DONE HERE.

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[STARING.]

... When the fuck do barkbeasts hatch from eggs?

All of them hatch from eggs, idiot. How the fuck did you miss - Ahhh!

[ because said barkbeast is currently tackling Karkat to lick him. ]

Like I care what these fuckin' weird as fuck creatures come from--PFFFT!! [Oops he sure is laughing at you Karkat. THIS BARKBEAST DOESN'T SEEM BAD.]

Hahahaha, well I guess at the wery least, we can say the damn thing likes you, Kar. Hahaha, maybe a tad too fuckin' much.

Edited 2011-10-10 04:31 (UTC)

[ hey! look at that, eridan. he can still flip you off while trying to tell the pooch to stop.

but that only gets the thing to start licking him in the face. ]

Yeah that was real conduciwe to gettin' the thing to stop, wasn't it.

[Oh he's finding too much fucking pleasure in this, Karkat being taken out by some newly hatched barkbeast. it's almost cute in a way.]

[ reaches out and -

ruffles all of that fur. it's a distraction tactic, really!

then the Growlithe pulls back, sitting down to wag its tail. ]

Holy shit...

[Oh. Well, seems Karkat has conquered the beast, less fun, but it works.]

I hope it makes a habit a assaultin' you with that slobbery tongue a its, cuz that'll be some good entertainment while we trawel. But if you're done with this commotion, I'd rightly like to sleep.

[Weh weh princess needs his beauty sleep, weh.]

[ glares at Eridan from the ground. then he leans up to mutter something at the PUPPY while giving it a few pats.

guess who's going to be saying hello to you in about three seconds, eri? ]</small.

[Yeah that muttering gets an eyebrow raise before OH FUCK IS THAT A BARKBEAST IN HIS GRILL?]

FUCK!! [Definitely trying to fend the fucker off, pushing it and trying to get away from that fucking tongue.]

Kar--!! Kar get this fuckin--MMmPFFTBBBTTBBTT! GROSS--AAH! [Yeah he definitely got a tongue licking his face and HE IS HARDLY APPRECIATING IT IN THE SLIGHTEST!]

Call your beast off this INSTANT!

Edited 2011-10-11 02:31 (UTC)

Ask Alex nicely and maybe he'll fucking stop.

What--[Oh man that was an especially sloppy lick to his cheek, ignore that undignified noise of utter disgust and abhorrence coming from Eridan at the moment. ~~Too bad Karkat isn't recording this shit, this is gold~~]

AUGH! Stupid fuckin' barkbeast, get your foul as fuck tongue OUTTA my face--[Yeah not working. Not with that sloppy dog kiss.]

KAR I WILL SKIN THIS FUCKIN' THING SO HELP ME!

[ watches and might be taking out Josie to feed her. 8T see this look of not caring? ]

Just fucking say please already.

Fuck--FUCK FINE!

Please you stupid mongrel? PLEASE, get the fuck outta my face, PLEASE stop bein' disgustin' and horrid, PLEASE go jump off the nearest goddamn CLIFF!

[ snickering. ]

Not nice enough, but we'll give it to you.

[ calls Alex over and gives puppy a nice shoosh pat pat. ]

[By now, Eridan looks reminiscent of a drowned rat, except for the fact that he's covered in slobber and not so much water. He looks and feels outright disgusted, and who can blame him?]

Kar, don't you EWER do that shit again... [He sure is approaching you Karkat, and he sure is grabbing for your shirt to try and wipe some of this saliva off. Like HELL he's gonna use anything of his!]

The fuck!? Oh hell no!

[ shoving with a foot! ]

Watch your fuckin' hoof, asshole!

Fuck you, Kar! It's your beast's saliwa, I'm just returnin' it to you! So let me do this goddamn act a KINDNESS.

[Totally grabbing that foot and trying to push it outta the way!]

[ hear that? that's the sound of growling. from a protective pokemon, ayup. ]

Are you fucking sure you shouldn't rethink this?

[Oh he is just staring indignantly at that pokemon, because fuck off Karkat deserves this.]

Gonna hide behind your fuckin' beast? How cowardly a you, Kar. Just fuckin' giwe me somethin' to clean this off with, because there's NO WAY I'm usin' somethin' a fuckin' mine!

Like you wouldn't fucking do the same...

Just go jump outside.

I will STILL need to fuckin' dry off idiot, and for the record, no I wouldn't.

[But he is going to head out, cuz yeah, good idea is good, but still, he's gonna be cold and wet!]

[ watches! it's really not his problem, man. ]

[Oh look at that, some cleaning off and everything, sure is lacking saliva now, but just as predicted, he's wet, who'd of thought! Going out in the rain gets you wet. H U H.]

[But as he returns, he looks expectantly at Karkat.]

Now giwe me somethin' to dry off with, you owe me that much seein' as this is your fault in the first place.

Just grab the extra shit in your bag. Hang the wet shit up to dry.

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