usedshooshpap | 019 ♋ Voice

Vanitas, would you fucking like to stop your constant need to squirm around?

Shut up, I need a minute to prepare

[ snort. ] If you tense up, you'll only make this fucking worse for yourself.

[ so, so dry. ] Oh, ha ha, you say that like it's not going to hurt. Give me something to bite. [ a beat. ] Your arm is preferred.

It will only hurt like the human conception of Hell for a few seconds, you big wiggler. If you need something to bite, then use your Vanillish. C'mon, Will. Get over here.

[ there's the thudding of footsteps followed by a low 'Axorrrr' from Will, Karkat's Haxorus. ]

I'm not biting that, it tastes like crap! And it's going to hurt long after you shove it back into place, idiot! Get me something to bite or I'm calling this off.

[ another groan. ] Oh my god. Fine! [ the sound that hits the Gear is Karkat digging through his bag. ] Take my extra shirt, shit for brains.

[ there's a grunt and Karkat starts again: ] On the count of three. One... Two - [ insert pop sound and a roar. ] Three.

FFUCK! [ that's a scream, not a yell. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why would you do that?!

Because the dumbass broke it before and let it heal improperly.

[... Okay, well. That's... right, technically.]

Shouldn't you have gone to a hospital?

He doesn't like them.

So he'd rather you were somewhere unsanitary? What if it gets infected somehow because of this?

One, we're in the house that is meticulously cleaned. Two, I actually know what I'm fucking doing here. That dumb Lusus of mine did not pull his punches with those armored crab claws of his. Three, if it does get worse instead of better, which is nigh impossible, I'll knock him out if I have to.

Armored crab claws...?

My Lusus - custodian, foster parent, however the fuck you humans categorize a caretaker - was a giant crab monster.

...

That sounds horrible.

What? No! It wasn't.

You just described it as a giant crab monster who doesn't pull punches. How is that not horrible?

Because that's relatively normal for us? Almost everyone has to strife with their Lusus.

Oh right. You're "not human." I didn't know that meant you had to be raised by giant monster crabs.

Mine was a crab. Everyone had a different kind of Lusus.

Like what? Panda bears and octopus? This just sounds like someone dropped you guys off at a zoo instead of raising you themself.

Yeah, because being raised by your direct genetic donors isn't fucking creepy at all. Who in their right think pan would want an adult in their hive!?

... Uh. Usually it's good to have adults around. Especially you parents.

Yeah, we don't have those. At all. Adults get shipped off world once they do their duty and get assigned a position in the Fleet.

I don't know a single troll that has been raised by another troll. That's fucking weird and unnatural.

That's completely backwards. Aliens are weird.

Humans are the ones that are completely backwards.

Why would instead of your parents raising you, they run off to leave you to monsters? That's the backwards way. Living beings by nature are supposed to have the instincts to raise their own offspring to further preserve their race. If those monsters didn't exist, then what would happen?

We'd all die? Trolls don't give birth, stupid. The Mother Grub lays the eggs we hatch from. Our Lusus is essential for growth and development. Alternia is too fucking harsh for a little grub to grow, pupate, and mature without a beast for protection and care.

Exactly. You'd all die. If the monsters didn't exist, the young would die, and the race would die out if the adults didn't raise you themselves. It's backwards. Evolution doesn't work that way.

Apparently it can since that's what happened on my planet.

That doesn't make it any less backwards.

(no subject)

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