019 ♋ Voice

[usedshooshpap]

Vanitas, would you fucking like to stop your constant need to squirm around?

Shut up, I need a minute to prepare

[ snort. ] If you tense up, you'll only make this fucking worse for yourself.

[ so, so dry. ] Oh, ha ha, you say that like it's not going to hurt. Give me something to bite. [ a beat. ] Your arm is preferred.

It will only hurt like the human conception of Hell for a few seconds, you big wiggler. If you need something to bite, then use your Vanillish. C'mon, Will. Get over here.

[ there's the thudding of footsteps followed by a low 'Axorrrr' from Will, Karkat's Haxorus. ]

I'm not biting that, it tastes like crap! And it's going to hurt long after you shove it back into place, idiot! Get me something to bite or I'm calling this off.

[ another groan. ] Oh my god. Fine! [ the sound that hits the Gear is Karkat digging through his bag. ] Take my extra shirt, shit for brains.

[ there's a grunt and Karkat starts again: ] On the count of three. One... Two - [ insert pop sound and a roar. ] Three.

FFUCK! [ that's a scream, not a yell. ]

Comments

[panics]

Oh right. You're "not human." I didn't know that meant you had to be raised by giant monster crabs.

[usedshooshpap]

Mine was a crab. Everyone had a different kind of Lusus.

[panics]

Like what? Panda bears and octopus? This just sounds like someone dropped you guys off at a zoo instead of raising you themself.

[usedshooshpap]

Yeah, because being raised by your direct genetic donors isn't fucking creepy at all. Who in their right think pan would want an adult in their hive!?

[panics]

... Uh. Usually it's good to have adults around. Especially you parents.

[usedshooshpap]

Yeah, we don't have those. At all. Adults get shipped off world once they do their duty and get assigned a position in the Fleet.

I don't know a single troll that has been raised by another troll. That's fucking weird and unnatural.

[panics]

That's completely backwards. Aliens are weird.

[usedshooshpap]

Humans are the ones that are completely backwards.

[panics]

Why would instead of your parents raising you, they run off to leave you to monsters? That's the backwards way. Living beings by nature are supposed to have the instincts to raise their own offspring to further preserve their race. If those monsters didn't exist, then what would happen?

[usedshooshpap]

We'd all die? Trolls don't give birth, stupid. The Mother Grub lays the eggs we hatch from. Our Lusus is essential for growth and development. Alternia is too fucking harsh for a little grub to grow, pupate, and mature without a beast for protection and care.

[panics]

Exactly. You'd all die. If the monsters didn't exist, the young would die, and the race would die out if the adults didn't raise you themselves. It's backwards. Evolution doesn't work that way.

[usedshooshpap]

Apparently it can since that's what happened on my planet.

[panics]

That doesn't make it any less backwards.

[usedshooshpap]

It's not backwards for me.

[panics]

It's backwards from how nature is supposed to work!

[usedshooshpap]

Nature in your unique universe, douchebag. Just because it works one way for you, doesn't mean it can't work another for a different reality with a different set of parameters.

[panics]

You're right. Just because something seems totally stupid in my universe might mean it's really sane in yours.

[Joe Kido: Master of backhanded compliments.]

[usedshooshpap]

Are you done being a complete fucking tool and closed minded with your double edged comments? Because if you haven't noticed, I am fucking busy with this stubborn ass and if you have nothing useful or beneficial to say, then I'm demanding you get the fuck out and mind your own business, shit licker.

[panics]

...

[As much as he doesn't like this guy...]

Are you splinting it with hospital-brand materials, or things from the forest?

[usedshooshpap]

You don't splint a clavicle, fucknuts. Braces or slings are used, of which we have, thanks.

[panics]

... It's his clavicle?! I thought it was just his leg or something! That's even worse than a limb!!

[usedshooshpap]

Depends on the limb. I'd rather break that than a leg.

[panics]

But if it's a clavicle bone really close to the neck- it's a lot more dangerous to accidentally damage the neck or spine!

I hope you already finished bandaging it before talking to me!

[usedshooshpap]

Of course I did! What kind of dumbass would stop what he's doing to respond to the network at a time like that?

[panics]

[Silence.


Implying silence.]