usedshooshpap | 002 ♋ Text

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002 ♋ Text

WHAT THE ACTUAL TAINTCHAFING FUCK IS WITH ALL OF THESE FLAPBEASTS WITH FANGS.
ZUBAT, WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT THEY'RE CALLED AT THIS GODDAMN POINT.
THEY'RE FUCKING EVERYWHERE.
I CAN'T WALK TWO FEET TO GET SOME LATE NIGHT TRAINING IN WITHOUT RUNNING INTO THE GRUBFUCKERS.
IT'S LIKE OK, THANKS YOU LITTLE BULGEBITERS, BUT I ALREADY CAUGHT ONE OF YOU LITTLE SHIT STAINS
NOW IT'S TIME TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GO EAT A CATERPIE OR WHATEVER THOSE LITTLE GRUB THINGS ARE CALLED.
ACTUALLY, IT PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE OH YEAH, I DID CATCH ONE
BUT JOSIE HAS TO BE THE TINIEST LITTLE FUCKING ZUBAT OUT OF ALL OF THEM.
HER FANGS ARE SHIT, MAN.
TINIEST LITTLE FUCKERS I HAVE YET TO LAY MY EYES ON AND HER ONLY ATTACK IS A SHITTY MOVE THAT CAN'T DO MUCH OF ANYTHING.
I SWEAR THAT I GOT FUCKING JIPP
OH SHIT.
HOLD ONTO THAT THOUGHT
I FUCKING TURN MY BACK FOR A MOMENT AND THAT GODDAMN EGG IS HATCHING.
WHATEVER, I'M DONE HERE.

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She said the same thing...but even so, I can't help but worry.

[He runs a hand through his hair and sighs.]

Basically, I have already disappointed her once. And I don't want to do it again. It's been over a month since we become moirails, but to me, everything still feels the same as it did before. It's kind of hard not to be discouraged by that.

What happened?

Ah...well. She didn't want to be moirails originally. And she came here thinking that she would have a chance at something more uh...red? Is that the term? Anyway, she didn't. I'm already dating Rose and she was understandably upset about that. So...

You both are so fucking stupid I might throttle you both the moment I lay my disgusting red eyes on you.

Wh-What? Why?

BECAUSE BEING A MOIRAIL ISN'T ABOUT FUCKING COMPROMISING, THAT'S WHY!

It's about standing up to your fucking responsibility that you feel lead to. It's that fucking feeling of looking at the nookwipe and realizing that the world isn't going to be the same if they're not a part of your fucking life and vice versa. Knowing that you have to fucking look out for them because no one else could ever be as good at it as you. Then also the same in reverse.

The quadrant has a deep meaning and you agreeing to become a moirail because she couldn't have you any other way totally and completely demeans it!

[In the blink of an eye, his face goes from anxious to darkly serious. You touched a nerve there, Karkat.]

Okay. First of all: I care about Vriska. I don't appreciate the implications that I am not taking this seriously or that I agreed to this for shallow reasons. Because I didn't. Trust me, had you been here? I would have called you the night she asked me and asked you for help. Which is what I'm trying to do now, though I guess maybe I should have been more direct about it.

I want to be a good moirail. Yeah, I feel sort of bad that she had deeper feelings for me when I don't feel that way about her, but that's not why I agreed. I agreed because she needs me. That's the one thing I do understand after talking to her: Vriska. Needs. Me. But I'm not a troll, Karkat. I have never been one. So I don't know how moirails are supposed to actually, really feel about each other beyond "take care of each other". I have been trying my best to figure that out on my own, but there's only so much I can do on my own as a human.

[Once again, he runs a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath and trying to compose himself once more.]

If all you are going to do is yell at me and accuse me of trying to demean a concept that's still relatively new to me, then this conversation is over. I'll just see if I can get a hold of Nepeta and ask her for help.

Goddamn it it, John. I fucking know you care about her. Fuck, after reading a particular conversation, I am pretty sure you agreed to fucking go out on a date with her. So don't think I don't get that concept of it, you grubfisted moron.

But really, I'll fucking yell and chew you out all I want. It's what I fucking do and you know it. So either suck it up or go to Mepeta. I really don't give two shits either way.

[ lies. all lies. but welp. way to hurt his feelings too. 8| ]

[They're so good at this friendship thing, aren't they?]

I-- wait what? [He had a response to that but what was that about a date? Please say you're joking, Karkat, please. This is the last thing he needs.] I did what?

Forget it. Just fucking hang up like you want to.

[ oops! ]

Well I'm definitely not going to hang up after you drop something like that on me! Do me a favor, whatever you do, please do not mention that to Rose or Vriska.

Sure. Whatever.

Thanks. Because they seem to be getting along now. And the last thing I want is for that to stop being a thing. Or for one of them to be mad at me. That would suck too.

Better hope you don't get sent back.

Heh, I have been hoping that for a while. I like it much better here.

...Why. You're needed, fuck nuts.

[He quirks an eyebrow at that.]

But everyone is here.

Yes, from different points in time which implies that everyone goes the fuck back at some point. You, specifically, are pretty fucking essential for our plan to come into fruition.

I am? [This is news to him.] But...wait. Okay. You and Vriska are both from further along in the timeline than me. And I was still there despite the fact that I shouldn't have... wait, does this mean we're in a doomed, offshoot timeline? Am I not the real John anymore?

[And this is why Dave is the time guy and John is the wind guy. It took him nine months to think of this possibility.]

What? Fuck, no. What the hell would even give you that impression?

[ well he guesses it's possible, for those that are further back in time than he is. ]

People get sent back, remember shin stain? They have to have something to be sent back to. More than likely, they continue in their timeline without the fucking memories of this hole in space. This is the assumption I am going to make, because any others are just fucked up and unlikely if plans run as they are going to.

Edited 2011-10-30 18:54 (UTC)

Augh, I don't know. Dave is the time traveler, not me. See, this is why I try not to think about it. I just go with it and hope that everyone ends up here and, more importantly, stays here. That way, we don't have to worry about complicated future plans that prevent us all from dying horribly.

John, as good as you might think that it is, then what is it all fucking for in the end? All of the sacrifices made? If you take the goddamn easy way out now, everything that anyone would have done or will do amounts to utter and complete shit.

Maybe you're okay with that, but I'm not. I made a shit ton of mistakes and I want to see it all through to the fucking end. Because that's what a leader does.

But isn't the safety of your friends more important? Even if it is the 'easy way out', isn't it better to seize that opportunity than to continue on with something dangerous and potentially life-threatening?

As long as everyone is together, safe, and most importantly, alive, can you really say that everything was a waste? Things may not go the way you planned for them to go but as long as the end result is for the best...

You only say that because you don't know, John.

Do I want everyone to be safe? Of fucking course I do, but I can't ignore what's already happened either.

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002 ♋ Text

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