usedshooshpap | 037 ♋ Voice

037 ♋ Voice

Hopefully everyone is done wallowing in shame and embarrassment from that party enough for me to say that if I see mistletoe next year, I will fucking burn the place to the ground. Also, the adult Lalonde is not allowed to add her special "touch" to anything that might go into the bile sacks at any group function. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but the end result was excruciating to watch.

Now that the official business is over, I've got a dilemma here. Obviously the first of the week, I'm going back towards Kanto. Big surprise, I know. What is surprising is that I don't know what I want to do. There are still four badges for me to get, but the question is... Do I just stay in Vermillion or Fuchsia until more tolerable traveling weather is in sight or just keep going? I'm a little on the fence because it's fucking cold and I hate traveling in it.

[ Locked to Kanaya ]

Hey, is everything all right? I saw you leave the party, but didn't really get the chance to catch up with you.

[ /Locked ]

Oh, right. The Deino hatched yesterday. What the fuck is with these hyperactive hatchlings I've got recently?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This time last year I would have said fuck you. But after that storm? Yeeaaah.

Personally, I just want to get closer to the coast. Slightly warmer temperatures and all that.

Haha, well there were some nasty blizzards the year before that too. Nothing as bad as last week but they were still a bitch to travel in, I can tell you that much.

I don't blame you though. Vermillion might be a safer bet because you don't have to go as far, but if you need the Fuchsia badge anyway, then you may as well take the extra time to get that far if the weather's calm enough.

Nah. I got those badges. All I have left is Viridian, Pewter, Cerulean, and Saffron.

Then I would say Vermillion. Maybe hit Saffron's gym on the way since that's where the magnet train stops anyway. Plus it's closer to the gyms you have left. Fuschia will just put you further away once the weather clears up.

[He shrugs.]

That's just my two cents though. I am still not even sure where I am heading now or who I'm going with.

I'm surprised you're actually leaving Goldenrod.

[ now for the private ]

Look. I have a question and it's embarrassing, but... I don't know who else to ask.

[Another shrug.]

Hey I still have four badges to get in Kanto. And with dad gone, it's not like I have any reason to stay in Goldenrod longer than I need to.

Anyway. Shoot.

[What is on your mind, Karkat?]

Do humans normally have problems with vocalization from time to time? This shit has been going on for like a month or so now, where I just randomly crack or break off and it's driving me insane!

At first I thought I might have caught that laryngitis thing, but it can't last this long, right?

[John just gives Karkat a very blank stare for a moment as he processes that question. It's not a particularly hard one or anything, John just honestly did not see it coming.]

Cracki-- oh! [He giggles a little. Not at Karkat, mind you, but more at the situation itself.] Nah, don't worry. That's a completely normal part of puberty for guys. It's just your voice changing.

Why the fuck does the voice have to change for this puberty shit!?

Don't laugh!

Dude I'm not laughing at you. Jeez I have to go through the same thing, I am not in any position to laugh. But have you not noticed that adult human males tend to have deep Voices?

...Some of them, maybe.

I mean with trolls it's mostly just growing and your eyes filling in, you know?

Uh, sort of. I mean I have only seen one adult troll before and it was very briefly. I honestly kind of forgot about him until you just brought that up.

[Fourth walls, man.]

But you're right, not all men do but for those who DO have really deep voices, they didn't always sound like that. They had to go through the whole squeaking and cracking thing first. There's probably a fancy scientific reason behind why it breaks but I honestly don't know what it is, just that it happens and it's normal.

[ he's rubbing at his face in irritation, even if John can't see it. a deeper voice. okay. that's not... TOO bad. ]

What else should I be expecting here...

Well...growing is still a thing, but I'm sure you figured that much out on your own. Then there are zits. Which are basically just these gross little lumps you sometimes get on your face. But they aren't permanent or anything. It has something to do with like...the oils in your skin? So as long as you wash your face and stuff you shouldn't get them too bad.

Speaking of your face: facial hair. Well, I guess hair in general. Human males have hair in lots of places. And uh...your balls dropping.

[Most potentially awkward for last. Oh wait...no scratch that. Leaving out awkward random boners, so not even talking about the most awkward one. For now, anyway.]

I noticed that right away. Already this month I've grown a full inch.

[ pauses... ] Guess that might explain the random bursts of pain in my bones. Fucking hell...

[ he's about to complain about that when he catches something else. hair. zits? may or may not be a problem. Karkat is kind of obsessed with cleanliness, you know. ]

Hair? Shame globes dropping? What!?

Ah, it's not literal! Like they don't fall of or anything they just kind of grow and...hang. A little more than they did before. But yeah, hair. On your face, on your legs, underarms, chest, and uh...other places.

[ okay. growing and hanging... not a big deal. right? well... not as much as the other thing. ]

Oh my fucking god. Why must you humans be covered in fucking HAIR!?

[ voice. cracking. ]

How should I know, I don't make up the human puberty rules!!!

I think I'm going to be sick...

It's just hair, it's not that bad. Hell, you can shave it off.

AND SHRED MY FLESH IN THE PROCESS!? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?

Oh jesus... [Resisting the urge to introduce his face to his palm here.] If you know what you're doing, you won't cut yourself. It just takes a little practice, that's all.

SAYS THE LITTLE BOY WHO WOULD JUST LOVE TO BE A GREAT FUCKING FURRY APE OF A MAN!

Dude, we're basically the same age! You can't call me a little boy any more than I can laugh at you for your voice cracking.

[A beat.]

Oh and furry ape is a bit far. I don't want to be a walking carpet or anything, Christ.

Who is the one going through human puberty here?

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