usedshooshpap | 001 ♋ Audio

[ this would be the Gear clicking on. pure audio, but the distinct press of buttons with clear sounds of irritation ( grunting, muttered curses ) can be heard over the feed. ]

The fuck does this shit even work...

[And then there’s the distinct sound of someone else, a haughty HUFF before:]

Who the fuck cares, Kar? Let’s just get goin’ already, I hardly want to wait around while you futz with that infernal dewice.

[ hear that? it’s an irritable sigh. ]

Fuck you, Ampora. If you’d actually use your goddamn think pan for two seconds instead of just doing whatever the taintchafing fuck you want, then maybe you’d realize that we need to get information before blindly jumping into the clusterfuck that is this shithole!

Besides. The map says you’re going the wrong fucking way. Great navigational skills you have there, genius.

[Oops a snarl!]

Fuck your map and fuck whoewer you’re tryin’ to contact, we don’t need their help! Not to mention, if they’re the same as the ones in this tiny as fuck town we’re in, they’re HUMANS. Are you honestly goin’ to ask some fuckin’ sandsuckin’ HUMANS for help Kar? Thought you had more pride in bein’ a troll than that.

Guess I was wrong.

[ a hard clunk as the Gear hits the ground. sounds like someone threw it and there’s a rustle of fabric as Karkat is grabbing Eridan by the scarf. ]

If we’re here, fuckass, then the other members of our team could be too! Are they not worthy of trying to fucking contact either, grubtard? If I recall, you were the one practically begging me on your hands and fucking knees about traveling together in the first place.

[There’s a twin to that rustle of clothes as Eridan mirrors the gesture to Karkat’s own shirt, because fuck this, he’s not gonna let Karkat put his hands all over his clothes with some sort of retaliation!]

First off, get your grubby fuckin’ mits off my scarf! But second off, sure whatewer they MIGHT be here. And if they aren’t? We got a bunch a fuckin’ humans thinkin’ we’re some pathetic helpless species needin’ their help and guidance, fuck that and fuck you! I HARDLY did anythin’ so dramatic, dirtscrapper!

Eridan, you are the very essence of dramatic, you cape wearing douchebag. And so what if they’re humans? We’ve been fucking relying on humans ever since -

[ and he cuts himself off. ]

That shit was on, you know.

What? What was on?

[ in that moment Karkat lets Eridan go and picks up the Gear. have some noise while he waves it on. ]

It’s on you raving brinesucker!

Oh. [This is said very flatly with unamused realization.]

Well, turn it the fuck off, you stupid fuck!

What the hell are you calling me stupid for!? You’re the one that was so fucking insistent on me paying attention to you and your fin faced needs!

[ BUT HE TURNS IT OFF ANYWAY ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

They didn't "take" anything. They somehow managed to turn everyone into one of those human creatures.

So don't blame it on me...

Oh shut up, Ara, same fuckin' difference and you know it!

I'm not blamin' you.

It really isn't the same.

[BUT WHY ARGUE WITH HIM she's only going to get a headache.]

In any case, it's not something we can change while we're here. It takes a little getting used to.

Is too.

[Arguing with Eridan is about as conducive as beating your head against a rock so... Good choice!]

I don't exactly want to get used to it, but I guess I'we hardly the choice. Whatewer.

Anyway, what's the fuckin' point a bein' here, as much bullshit and useless nonesense I'we gotten within the time I'we been here, that's definitely somethin' I'we yet to fuckin' hear.

The short version is that we are supposed to be training and raising the native beasts of this world through battling them with other beasts.

It makes absolutely no sense at first, but it can be rather enjoyable.

... Well alright, seems pretty fuckin' pointless, but I guess so long as I'm stuck here it's better than doin' nothin' at all.

[A beat.]

Well, thanks for the information, anyways. [HE'S NOT ALWAYS RUDE. Just like 98.9% of the time.]

It gives us something to do. And I like the creatures I have found so far.

What kind have you been given, Eridan?

Some mock skyhorse, it's blue, not sure what it's actually called, though.

Ooh, I don't think I've seen that one yet...

[She's, like, been keeping track of all the Pokemon.]

If you check that handheld computer you were given, it should tell you. It's quite useful.

My... Oh. That thing...

One second.

[Curiosity is a powerful force man, so here he is rummaging real quick to get it and maybe even release his pokemon. Yep, after a second or two the sound of the pokemon being recalled is heard.]

... It's been sayin' its fuckin' name this whole time? Horsea? What sorta fuckin' name is that? Seabiscuit's way better.

[Yeah, Eridan has class in his naming abilities!]

I think Horsea sounds cuter.

[Welp.]

You will find more Pokemon as you travel. They are surprisingly diverse.

Well, I didn't ask what YOU think, now did I?

[huff.]

So, is there anythin' significant to their diweristy, or are they just like generally different like regular beasts? [May as well get this information.]

Edited 2011-10-03 13:39 (UTC)

I still don't know everything about them yet, but they are similar to regular beasts. But their type heavily depends on what kinds of powers they wind up developing as you train them.

Hmm. Alright, I'll hawe to look into that. I figure if I'm doin' this, I may as well be fuckin' good at it, or you know, the best.

[A brief pause.]

...You know, Ara, for bein' so low on the hemospectrum, you actually aren't all that bad.

[~~It was bound to happen sometime.~~]

[A huff.]

Don't get any funny ideas. I am just giving you the required information.

Oh I'm not, I'm just sayin', you're definitely prowin' that maybe there's some sorta diamond in the rough that makes up the disgustin' lower half a the hemospectrum is all.

[GOD HE IS SUCH A SMOOTH OPERATOR.]

[SMOOTH IS HIS MIDDLE NAME OKAY]

And yet you still call it "disgusting". Your compliments are severely misplaced.

[HE SHOULD TEACH SEMINARS ON HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS.]

The facts are the facts, Ara. I hardly am one to NOT call it how it is.

[cant you hear her swwooning all over the place]

Are you finished? Because I'm about to stop helping you.

[Man, how can you NOT hear her swoonin' up a storm at those flawless advances!?]

Uhh--Fuck, fine, sure whatewer, if you don't want the compliments, far be it from me to stop you from bein' so impertinent like the rest a you landfuckers.

[Man whatever, like he even cares, jeeez.]

[That's some quality fucking lovin' in here.]

Maybe if you weren't so obnoxious.

But I know that's hard for you.

[Man, this shit is gettin' down right saucy.]

Oh, fuck you! I'm hardly obnoxious. You just can't take a compliment when someone far more important that you has the magnanimity to giwe you one.

Oh, pardon me then.

Why, thank you, Eridan, for being so very thoughtful. I am clearly in the wrong. All I wanted to do was help.

[Hear that? That's a whole lot of NOPE going on.]

At least you can recognize when you're in the wrong and ewen own up to it.

[Oh was that sarcasm Aradia was using? Oops.]

[Good Lord.]

Did you have any other questions...

audio;

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