001 ♋ Audio

[usedshooshpap]

[ this would be the Gear clicking on. pure audio, but the distinct press of buttons with clear sounds of irritation ( grunting, muttered curses ) can be heard over the feed. ]

The fuck does this shit even work...

[And then there’s the distinct sound of someone else, a haughty HUFF before:]

Who the fuck cares, Kar? Let’s just get goin’ already, I hardly want to wait around while you futz with that infernal dewice.

[ hear that? it’s an irritable sigh. ]

Fuck you, Ampora. If you’d actually use your goddamn think pan for two seconds instead of just doing whatever the taintchafing fuck you want, then maybe you’d realize that we need to get information before blindly jumping into the clusterfuck that is this shithole!

Besides. The map says you’re going the wrong fucking way. Great navigational skills you have there, genius.

[Oops a snarl!]

Fuck your map and fuck whoewer you’re tryin’ to contact, we don’t need their help! Not to mention, if they’re the same as the ones in this tiny as fuck town we’re in, they’re HUMANS. Are you honestly goin’ to ask some fuckin’ sandsuckin’ HUMANS for help Kar? Thought you had more pride in bein’ a troll than that.

Guess I was wrong.

[ a hard clunk as the Gear hits the ground. sounds like someone threw it and there’s a rustle of fabric as Karkat is grabbing Eridan by the scarf. ]

If we’re here, fuckass, then the other members of our team could be too! Are they not worthy of trying to fucking contact either, grubtard? If I recall, you were the one practically begging me on your hands and fucking knees about traveling together in the first place.

[There’s a twin to that rustle of clothes as Eridan mirrors the gesture to Karkat’s own shirt, because fuck this, he’s not gonna let Karkat put his hands all over his clothes with some sort of retaliation!]

First off, get your grubby fuckin’ mits off my scarf! But second off, sure whatewer they MIGHT be here. And if they aren’t? We got a bunch a fuckin’ humans thinkin’ we’re some pathetic helpless species needin’ their help and guidance, fuck that and fuck you! I HARDLY did anythin’ so dramatic, dirtscrapper!

Eridan, you are the very essence of dramatic, you cape wearing douchebag. And so what if they’re humans? We’ve been fucking relying on humans ever since -

[ and he cuts himself off. ]

That shit was on, you know.

What? What was on?

[ in that moment Karkat lets Eridan go and picks up the Gear. have some noise while he waves it on. ]

It’s on you raving brinesucker!

Oh. [This is said very flatly with unamused realization.]

Well, turn it the fuck off, you stupid fuck!

What the hell are you calling me stupid for!? You’re the one that was so fucking insistent on me paying attention to you and your fin faced needs!

[ BUT HE TURNS IT OFF ANYWAY ]

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[[Eridan you are in for a terribly rude awakening from "lol humans can't harm Pokemon, and if they try they get arrested and put to community service if caught". And Rose is laughing at you.

Oh is she laughing at you.]]

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[homofuckiens.livejournal.com]

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[usedtherapy.livejournal.com]

[[From there, the feed switches to video, and you receive a little wave before Rose plucks a Pokeball from nearby and allows the Pokemon inside of it out. Meet Loke, Karkat, who is staring oh so curiously at the screen!]]

How about offering Karkat a warm welcome back, Loke?

[[And now that curious staring has gone to happy little "Lux! Lux!"s.]]

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[homofuckiens.livejournal.com]

[ oh yes. he sees. that's... that's a decent sized monster right there. Karkat really IS mulling over the idea.

also turning on the video. ]

Do I want to know why it likes me?

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[usedtherapy.livejournal.com]

One, you and I were on rather good terms when he was younger, so he grew under the influence of "Master likes him, he must be okay". Two, you weren't - and I assume still likely won't be - abusive towards Pokemon, so he had no reason to dislike you. Three, he just generally likes people, provided they don't make themselves into utter pricks.

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[homofuckiens.livejournal.com]

Abusive. Ha! I think mine might be the abusive little shit.

Let me guess, though. I have to get to this Cherrygrove place first, right?

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[usedtherapy.livejournal.com]

Mmm, you have quite the luck in picking up rather abusive Pokemon then. This would likely be your...third? Possibly fourth.

Not necessarily. While yes, transferring it through the Pokemon Center would likely be easier, I could send my Noctowl with Loke's Pokeball to you. I've already sent Pilcrow your way with a...gift. For Eridan.

Whichever you would prefer, really. Cherrygrove is only a few days away from New Bark.

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[homofuckiens.livejournal.com]

Doesn't that just sound like me and my fucked up life.

[ give him a moment to fuss with the stupid ball. when he gets it to work, better believe it. it's a sneasel. female one too. ]

Actually, if you could do that, it would be pretty fucking awesome.

[ pause. ]

What did you send him and should I be at least ten feet away?

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[usedtherapy.livejournal.com]

Ah, a sneasel. This reminds me - make that fifth. I had forgotten the first sneasel you had the misfortune of encountering. But that is possibly due to you avoiding interaction with it as much as possible.

I will be sure to do that, then. [[Tilting the camera back towards her and up, you'll have a lovely view of an Owl like Pokemon perched on her head, happily sleeping.]] This is Tick, the Noctowl you can expect as the messenger.

[[Then she moves it back to herself and, after fiddling with it a moment, it blips off for a few seconds before returning. She's slapped a filter on it, because she really would prefer Eridan be "surprised" by such a "generous" gift if at all possible.]]

A Combee.

Unless Ampora proves as much of a dick as he's always been before - in which you may have to worry somewhat about Pilcrow giving him a few good pecks - you have little to fear. The Combee is virtually useless, hence why Eridan is free to have him back. His name is Sollux, should you need to give him any commands.

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[homofuckiens.livejournal.com]

So if I work with this thing, then it will what? Work with me better?

[ he says this while observing the Noctowl. Tick. whatever. but he memorizes what details he can, so that when he sees it, he can recognize it for what it is. ]

...He's still a dick. No fears there. So this Combee belonged to him the first time around? Sollux isn't a very original name either.

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[usedtherapy.livejournal.com]

Hopefully. Most Pokemon will come to at least respect their trainers upon working together, though a few are unfortunate to be landed with ones who never change. John, for instance, owns an Umbreon who still thinks poorly of him, no matter having raised him since he hatched. He's simply a bit of a snob. Sweet, but a snob.

Two of your Pokemon are well behaved enough, but neither seemed to enjoy showing you such manners. One, in fact, still acts rather childish. Hopefully he'll grow out of that.

I had a feeling that would be the case. Then yes, you may be privileged to a front row viewing of a Pidgeot using a few of her attacks upon him before her departure.

It did indeed. Why it wound up with me, I'm not sure. And no, it's not. He actually owned two Pokemon named Sollux. Both bee Pokemon.