usedshooshpap | 037 ♋ Voice

037 ♋ Voice

Hopefully everyone is done wallowing in shame and embarrassment from that party enough for me to say that if I see mistletoe next year, I will fucking burn the place to the ground. Also, the adult Lalonde is not allowed to add her special "touch" to anything that might go into the bile sacks at any group function. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but the end result was excruciating to watch.

Now that the official business is over, I've got a dilemma here. Obviously the first of the week, I'm going back towards Kanto. Big surprise, I know. What is surprising is that I don't know what I want to do. There are still four badges for me to get, but the question is... Do I just stay in Vermillion or Fuchsia until more tolerable traveling weather is in sight or just keep going? I'm a little on the fence because it's fucking cold and I hate traveling in it.

[ Locked to Kanaya ]

Hey, is everything all right? I saw you leave the party, but didn't really get the chance to catch up with you.

[ /Locked ]

Oh, right. The Deino hatched yesterday. What the fuck is with these hyperactive hatchlings I've got recently?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Paaaaaause.]

W-why would I be lying, Karkat?

Because you're stuttering.

I...right.

No, that's...Sunshine is being a handful I am simply distracted.

Very distracted, seems like.

[Another pause and then a huff.]

Never mind.

Nevermind talking or nevermind trying to deceive me?

[No she's not answering that there's just another pause.]

Did you know Rose and John are dating, Karkat?

[A breath.]

Because I did not know that. No one said a word to me about it, in fact.

Yeah I know John and Rose are dating...

[ very carefully here... there's an emphasis he is not going to miss. ]

Why is that a -

[ oh. fuck. ]

Shit. You're together on the - FUCK. Kanaya. I didn't know. I would have warned you, promise!

It's not your fault.

[She means that, too. Honestly.]

It's not really anyone's fault, probably. I just didn't know, and it never even occurred to me to ask.

Not that things from the meteor matter here, and...I'm not even really certain Together is the right-

[She sucks in a breath to force herself to stop.]

No. It doesn't matter.

No, stupid. It does matter.

And if you want to talk about it, I'll be here.

What would I even say, Karkat?

[Kanaya might be good at helping other people work through their problems, but her own? They're just so out of luck.]

Whatever's on your mind?

I...

[There's a pause, and a sigh.]

Karkat, the girl I have had a crush on for longer than I am fully prepared to admit is here, and happily in love with some human boy. Some human boy I can't even hate because, in case you haven't noticed, there aren't really any humans anywhere who are nicer than him.

I don't really want to talk about it.

You're telling this to the boy that has had a crush on a girl since forever who may not be here, but in time is going to lavish her tongue all over a guy who IS here and I can't bring myself to be too upset with anymore. Because really... I blew my chance and he's good to her.

If anyone can sort of understand, it is me.

...Okay, that's...fair.

But you don't know that. [Kanaya hesitates again, but it's more thoughtful this time, less frustrated.] Given this place's haphazard way of handling the time stream, it's entirely possible she won't actually know him.

Yeah, true. But we're not talking about me. I've... Come to terms with it.

We're talking about you here.

Yes, well.

What choice do I have but to do the same?

This isn't one of my stories where the noble, seductive rainbow drinker slinks in and steals the beautiful damsel away from her terrible boyfriend and they sneak off into the day to have a beautiful, mysterious life somewhere.

I know, Kanaya. Honestly, it's okay to cry. It's okay to rant, vent, break shit or whatever you need to do. Whatever you need to say. Better to just... Do it than keep it all bottled up.

Funny hearing me say that, but it's true. For a full year here I just put my all into training instead of dealing with my shit.

Didn't end well.

I would prefer not to...do something like that. At least, not in public. I already...[Cried, but she doesn't particularly need him to know that.]

You do not have to worry.

You say I don't have to.

But we all know otherwise. I can't help myself.

Mm. [It's a good thing he can't see the little smile on her face.]

Anyway. When do you intend to begin traveling? I will admit I wasn't entirely paying attention when your message came up.

Probably Sunday. Vermillion is probably the best place to wait out the colder weather. The cave that we need to use to cross over to Pewter and Viridian is, like, right there too.

Probably will end up taking two jobs just to gain back what I spent this year.

I see. I hadn't really thought about leaving so soon but as far as I can tell everyone is intending to travel.

The places we have to travel through are as big as Goldenrod, if not maybe a little busier.

Who else is going with you?

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]

[voice | Private]