usedshooshpap | 043 ♋ Voice

043 ♋ Voice

[ Private to Travel Party ]

I'M GOING OFF TO TRAIN FOR A BIT.
NO ONE HAVE A HEART ATTACK OKAY?
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING BUT I GUESS IT'S WHAT YOU'D CALL CLAUSTROPHOBIA.
KARKAT VANTAS NEEDS SOME PERSONAL PACE TO BALANCE BEING FACE DEEP IN SOMEONE'S ASS ALL THE TIME.

[ /Private ]

So I'm on my last badge. After this both Johto and Kanto will have been crushed under the fearsome wrath that is one Karkat Vantas and his victorious team of battle hardened beasts.

...What now? I mean what the fuck do you do after that massive undertaking has finally been cleared away? The Elite Four is still not an option, I know. Yeah, sure, I have some little beasts that need to be trained. But what is there really left to do?

I've just woken up from spending two whole goddamn years shooting the metaphorical breeze with ( if that's even how the saying goes - fuck if I know ) one red clad asshole and the Mayor. Not that it's been a bad experience, but I'm so done with sitting around with my nubs shoved up my waste chute.

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got it! calming my heart as we speak.
if you need anything though, just yell. at least one of us will come running.

that aside...man, i don't know.
i have been asking myself that very same question more and more recently.
i still don't have a concrete answer though.

SEE, EVEN IF YOU DID HAVE A HEART ATTACK I WOULDN'T WORRY FOR YOU JOHN.
YOU AND DEATH ARE PRACTICALLY BROS BY NOW.
IT WOULD NOT BE A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR YOU.

DUDE, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THE POINT IS ANYMORE I GUESS.
IT WASN'T REALLY A PROBLEM BUT NOW IT'S JUST SLAPPING ME IN THE FACE.

so says you and aradia and basically everybody else at this point.
wait do i die by heart attack in the future? or was that just a generalization encompassing all manners of death?

yeah...i still have three more and part of me is kind of glad that it will take us a while to get to the cities i need.
i am having a lot of fun just spending time with you guys and seeing the sights.
but i feel like once i'm done there's this huge Descision that i need to make about what's next.
and i don't have an answer, just a couple of vague, half-formed ideas. but none of them are really screaming "YES. THIS IS YOUR PATH, JOHN EGBERT. THIS IS YOUR WHAT'S NEXT." you know?
maybe we're both overthinking it though. making it out to be this huge federal fucking issue when really it's nbd.
maybe there doesn't have to be this big, flashy next step with fireworks and streamers and big flashing neon signs. maybe nothing changes.
maybe we just keep doing what we are doing now only without a goal to lead us for a while.

NO, JOHN.
YOU'RE UNIQUELY INTIMATE WITH OBJECT PROTRUDING FROM YOUR LOWER HALF.
THAT'S ALL YOU, BUDDY.

HERE'S THE DIFFERENCE, JOHN.
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO *DO* THE LIVING WITHOUT A GOAL THING.
THAT'S ALL I'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST THREE GODDAMN YEARS OF MY LIFE.
EVEN BEFORE, THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN SOME SORT OF THING TO OBTAIN
SOMETHING TO STRIVE FOR.
WITH PURPOSE BEING YANKED OUT FROM BENEATH MY FEET HERE, I JUST AM LIKE A GRUB HATCHED WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO TELL WHAT IS UP AND WHAT IS DOWN.
JUST LEAVE ME HERE TO WRITHE AND WRIGGLE AROUND IN MY CLUELESS THROES.

ok, i don't know what a grub looks like but the mental image from that is probably cuter than it rightly should be, considering a) the topic and b) the fact that it's you and you're gross.
jk, you're not that gross.
in all seriousness though, that's what you have us for, right?
so we can pick you up and set you back down right-way up.
because that's what friends do when one of their own is stuck in a wiggle-fit on the floor.

but alright, mr. goal oriented.
if you need something to replace it, why not start at the beginning?
and by beginning, i mean the future.
like...a good couple years in the future, not the week or so after you get your marsh badge.
do you want to leave? or would you rather stay?
if it's option 1, then that's easy. make finding a way back your new goal. you wil probably be working at that one for a while, so it's a goal with a good shelf life, barring giving up halfway.
but if it's 2, then it might be a little tricker. where do you see yourself in 10 years?
what would you like to be doing?
start there.

or you could just dedicate your life to messing with dave at every possible opportunity like i have.
now there's a lifelong goal.

Edited 2013-05-30 01:56 (UTC)

YOUR FACE IS GROSS.
UNFORTUNATELY, I AM NOT JOKING WHEN I SAY THAT
BUT THANKS, I GUESS.
MAYBE THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR?
THINGS AREN'T EXACTLY AS SMOOTH AS I WOULD LIKE TO THINK.

ANYWAY.
I'M STILL CONFUSED OVER THE WHOLE STAYING VERSUS GOING ISSUE.
I DON'T THINK I'D BE COMPLETELY *DEVASTATED* IF I WERE TO ROOT MYSELF IN THIS PLACE.
THING IS, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT SORT OF CRUMMY FATE AWAITS US IN THE GAME NOW.
SO MAYBE THAT'S THE SORT OF THING THAT I SHOULD PONDER ON THE NEXT FEW MONTHS.

...
AND MESSING WITH DAVE IS LIKELY A THING THAT I AM GOING TO DO.
I STILL NEED TO GET BACK AT HIM FOR THE DICKS IN ROSE'S TOME.

dick. :P
you're welcome.

well here's how i look at it, if this helps your pondering any.
from what i understand, in the best case scenario at the end of everything: we end up making a new world in the other earth session, right?
because jade has the battlefield and the godfrog or whatever and we're going to put it in their incipisphere and yay everybody wins and we live happily ever after in the new frogverse or whatever.
correct me if i'm wrong on that, you know how behind i am and i'm basically just piecing bits and pieces from everybody else together here to try and understand this shit.
anyway, if that's what we're aiming for then why bother going through all the trouble?
we're already IN a new universe right now, aren't we?
and in two and a half years, though there have been a few incidents, just how dangerous has it really been?
jack hasn't even shown up once.
sure, you guys were turned into humans for whatever reason but maybe we can find a way to fix that.

excellent. join me on my righteous crusade.
though what do you mean dicks in rose's tome?

TRUE, THAT IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL HERE.
IF WE WIN, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS IN THEORY.
WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THE RESULTING UNIVERSE WILL YIELD.
BEFORE THAT, THOUGH, WE HAVE A FUCK TON OF STUFF TO SIFT THROUGH.
SERIOUSLY
THERE'S THE DEMON THAT IS GOING AROUND AND KILLING GHOSTS OF DEAD PLAYERS.
WE HAVE TO BEAT HIM.
THEN YOUR JACK IS STILL PRETTY DAMN DETERMINED TO GO AFTER EVERYBODY AND STAB THEM UNTIL THEY'RE PRETTY PINCUSHIONS.
THAT'S SOMETHING WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH TOO.
NEW DEVELOPMENT? THERE'S STILL THE MATTER OF *BEATING* THE THIRD SESSION TOO.
BY THAT I MEAN THAT THERE'S STILL A BLACK QUEEN AND KING TO DEFEAT AS FAR AS I KNOW.
THAT'S A LOT OF SHIT TO GO THROUGH IN ORDER TO SUCCEED.
IT'S JUST THAT I FEEL THAT WE'VE COME SO DAMN FAR AND HAVE FACED SO FUCKING MUCH THAT JUST GIVING UP DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A VIABLE OPTION?
MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME?

AND YEAH.
DAVE KIND OF FORCED ME TO DRAW DICKS ALL OVER THIS BOOK ROSE HAD TRIED TO COMPOSE EARLY ON IN OUR SPACE ADVENTURE.

i guess?
i don't know, it's kind of hard for me to really feel a sense of obligation to see it all the way through since i checked out so early.
like i get what you're saying and it makes sense! it's just personally hard for me to feel the same way about it.
i basically know what happens thanks to you guys but there's still this sort of emotional disconnect, i guess?

ahahah what even.
why? not why dicks, i mean it's dave that is pretty much all that needs to be said there.
but why rose's book and why did he force you?

I GET THAT, JOHN.
REALLY, SINCERELY
I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT.
MAYBE ONE DAY YOU'LL FINALLY CATCH UP AND UNDERSTAND THIS FEELING.

I'M NOT COMMENTING ON THE REST OF THAT.
SORRY, NOPE.
NOT HAPPENING.

maybe...
i'm honestly not sure if i want to though.

you know i am just going to go ask dave, right?

AND HE'LL LIKELY TELL YOU.
GOD, I WAS SUCH AN EMBARRASSING LITTLE SHITSTAIN.

implying you aren't one now?
nah jk.
from the sonds of things, it sounds like you were both being immature buttheads.
maybe i will ask rose about it.
for the most unbiased opinion.
but at least it sounds like you were...sort of having fun?

FUN?
NOT REALLY. I MEAN I STILL WANTED TO DO FUCK ALL WITH DAVE.
AT THE TIME I WAS STILL KIND OF MAD ABOUT HIM BEING ALL PUPA PALS AND MORE WITH TEREZI.
IT WASN'T UNTIL I GOT OVER IT THAT I ACTUALLY HAD SOME FUN.
IF YOU CAN CALL THE STUPID SHIT WE DID FUN.

well i don't know exactly what you did but i think if it can truly be classified as "stupid shit" that it probably was fun, yes.
that's how things tend to work with dave.

oh man, i am not going to have to start getting jealous am i?
are you trying to make a move on my bbfl, karkat?
i will get rose to hold my earrings if i have to!!

DUDE, YOU WILL FOREVER BE HIS *BEST* BRO.
THAT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE AND YOU KNOW IT.
BESIDES
HE'S NOT MY TYPE.

i know, i was kidding.
there is more than enough of dave to go around.
though i call dibs on all of his useful organs.
just in case, you know. you can never be too careful.

THAT IS FUCKING CREEPY JOHN.
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

it's in the bro code. did you never read the manual?
article #629, subsection 4, paragraph 28:

"In the event of a horrific accident in which it is blatantly obvious to everyone with a brain that only one bro will make it out of the fiery inferno alive, i.e. one is dead upon impact or shortly thereafter (for cases in which the mortality of both parties is questionable, skip this fucking paragraph and go down to the next one) the deceased's organs shall go to his bro so that he might survive. Thus shall the deceased become the other's life bro-d. Blood type need not matter, for if your friendship is pure and true, that alone will be enough to counteract science."

all in the code, dude.
it's aaaaaall in the code.

THAT IS THE SINGLE MOST FRIGHTENING SHIT I HAVE EVER READ.
YOU'RE PLANNING ON HARVESTING HIS ORGANS UPON HIS IMMANENT DEMISE.
WHAT KIND OF FREAK DOES THAT?
YOU'RE SCARING ME A LITTLE OVER HERE, JOHN.

the coooooooode.

(ʘ‿ʘ✿)

[Thank you, Rose, for showing him that emote. Everyone is eternally grateful that you did that.]

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043 ♋ Voice

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