usedshooshpap | 029 ♋ Text

029 ♋ Text

ALL RIGHT. NOW THAT WE HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED IN THIS LITTLE BACKWATER TOWN
THERE'S SOME BUSINESS TO DISCUSS.
IN OTHER WORDS, I HAVE SOME EGGS THAT ARE FOR SALE.
IN THE PAST, THIS HAS BEEN FOR FREE.
HOWEVER, BECAUSE OF *REASONS* THIS TIME I CAN'T REALLY AFFORD TO DO THAT.
WE HAVE SHINX, AXEW, BAGON, PURRLOIN, TWO DIFFERENT SETS OF SWABLU EGGS, LAPRAS, FEEBAS, BLITZLE, GASTLY, RALTZ, GROWLITHE, POOCHYENA, AND DRATINI.
MAKE AN INQUIRY ABOUT ONE AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I CAN AND THE PRICE THAT I WILL BE CHARGING.
SOME OF THESE SHITTY BEASTS ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE COSTLY.
WHAT CAN I SAY? YOU CAN'T GET NEW BATTLEMATES WITH A FUCK TON OF MOVES AND NOT EXPECT TO PAY A *LITTLE* BIT FOR IT, RIGHT.
RIGHT
ANYWAY, THAT'S WHAT WE GOT.
UNFORTUNATELY, IF YOU'RE IN JOHTO, I CAN ONLY SEND THEM TO YOUR PC.
IF YOU'RE IN KANTO, I CAN MAKE AN EXCEPTION IF NO ONE IS ADVERSE TO HAVING A GIANT BAT DELIVER.
YEAH, I THINK THAT'S ALL I GOT.

(( ooc: there are still some left ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, Karkat, it's Hiccup.

[Even with the networked messed up, it would be hard not to tell who made the ad. Karkat's pretty...distinctive.]

Something going on lately?

[THE WORDING IS A BIT WORRYING.]

AND NOW I GET TO TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND "I TOLD YOU SO."
ANYWAY, THERE'S NOTHING REALLY "GOING ON."
I'M WORKING ON MY ELITE BADGES, BUT I WANT TO START SAVING UP FOR WHAT COMES AFTER.

Who, Astrid? We're not dating, I don't think.

[Yet he can tell immediately who you were talking about. All these people suggesting things. Life is confusing.]

But anyway, I'm glad to hear you're not in trouble or anything. Think I could buy a Lapras from you? They're big water-types, right?

[Hiccup had considered buying one a few months back, but had wound up with a fish instead. Now seemed like the right time, even though that Purrloin sure was tempting... ~~He is secretly hoping Carmen's Liepard will have a litter sometime in the future.~~]

YOU TWO SERIOUSLY NEED TO TALK THINGS OUT.
MIGHT BE SURPRISED.

ANYWAY. LAPRAS.
THREE THOUSAND.
IF I HAVE THIS SHIT RIGHT, IT WILL KNOW AVALANCHE, FUTURE SIGHT, AND SURF TO START WITH.

I'm pretty sure she would just punch me.

Sounds like it'll be useful. I don't have any that know Surf yet in my current team. I'm in Mahogany right now, still. I didn't know you two were heading over to Kanto. Where's Backwater Town?

THAT'S NOT THE NAME OF THE PLACE, HICCUP.
IT'S AN ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE PLACE.
WHEN COMPARED TO CELADON OR SAFFRON, THIS PLACE IS PRETTY BARREN.

Oh.

[...Yeah, that makes sense, too.]

I've never been to either place, so I'll have to take your word for it. What's the real name of where you are?

IT'S FUCHSIA.
I'LL ALSO HAVE YOUR EGG IN THE PC BY TOMORROW.

Okay. I'll wire you the money when I stop by there later today.

[Hookfang was being a terror even without the thunder to get him worked up.]

Oh, and my Axew hatched that I got from you guys. She's definitely different than Stormfly. They're both doing well, though, in case Vanitas was curious.

WAIT WAIT.
YOU NAMED A BEAST AFTER YOUR GIRL'S DRAGON?

[But she's not his girl, exactly...]

Sure, but I named my Growlithe after my cousin's dragon, too. Don't go reading too much into it.

THE FUCK IS A COUSIN?

[...]

How do you not know what a cousin is?

FORMER TROLL, REMEMBER?

I didn't actually know you were a troll, Karkat. I bet you didn't steal left socks, either.

[He is still disappointed.]

I guess for you, a it would be like if your Lusus (I think?) had a brother or sister, and that brother or sister had a kid. The kid would be your cousin.

A LOT OF MY FRIENDS THAT ARE HERE ARE FROM THE SAME PLACE I AM.
I JUST DON'T GET WHERE ALL THESE HUMAN MYTHS OF TROLLS COME FROM.
NO, WE DON'T LIVE UNDER BRIDGES
WE DON'T STEAL SOCKS EITHER.

SO WHILE I UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT...
TROLLS CAN'T HAVE COUSINS.

Tavros told me that much. [The previous Tavros, anyway.] He's the only other troll I know of, I think. Unless Vanitas is one.

What kind of relatives can you have, then?

HA. NO.
VRISKA, ERIDAN, EQUIUS, SOLLUX, AND NEPETA ALL ARE.
I THINK THAT COVERS THE OTHERS THAT ARE PRESENT.

OUR "RELATIVES" IN THE HUMAN SENSE...
WE HAVE A LIFE CYCLE VERY SIMILAR TO INSECTS.
THE MOTHER GRUB LAYS ALL OF THE EGGS THAT WILL HATCH TROLL GRUBS.
SO YOU COULD SAY THAT EVERYONE THAT HATCHES FROM THE SAME BROOD WOULD BE BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
THAT WOULD BE IT.
IN TROLL SOCIETY STANDARDS THIS MEANS SHIT.
THERE IS NO SENSE OF "FAMILY" OR "RELATIVES" FOR US.

Okay. I've talked to Vriska before, and saw Nepeta when I was staying with Other Father.

[...That certainly doesn't sound like the trolls Gobber told him about.]

A Lusus is like your parent though, right? So is that what the Mother Grub is?

A LUSUS IS ANOTHER BEAST THAT ROAMS THE PLANET.
EVERY NOW AND THEN, THEY WANDER INTO THE BROODING CAVERNS
THEY FIND A TROLL GRUB TO WHICH THEY FEEL SYMPATHETIC TOWARDS AND THAT'S THAT.
IT BECOMES THE GRUB'S CUSTODIAN.
A LUSUS ISN'T EXACTLY A PARENT, BUT IT AS CLOSE AS WE GET TO ONE.

[Hiccup tries to imagine how that would be, wonder what it would be like if he had been raised by... Oh, say, Toothless.

...Regurgitated fish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.]

Sounds tough.

[ perfect mental picture. ]

I GUESS?
HONESTLY I AM GLAD TO HAVE THE MONSTER CRAB OVER WHAT FEFERI HAD.

Monster crab? [THAT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE SOMETHING TO BE GLAD ABOUT.] What in Odin's name did she have?

UM.
GIANT MASS OF TENTACLES WITH A SCREECH THAT COULD KILL ALL LIFE ON THE PLANET?

[ w h a t . ]

...I would want the crab, too.

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